It's PAH-RIDE!!!!!!
*sparkle, sparkle*
*sparkle, sparkle*
I remember when we first started therapy, we were new to the acceptance stage and trying to just deal with the idea of having to explain TK to others. I asked if this would ever become something that just was part of our lives, something that wasn't a big deal, that wasn't part of our conversation several times a day, something that we just lived with without all the focus. The answer I got was a resounding YES! I breathed a sigh of relief, but then the therapist told me to enjoy this stage because in between acceptance and synthesis is pride. Big fat rainbow-tutu'd, getting interviewed by drag queens, gold glitter highlights in the hair PRIDE!
TK jumped into the pride stage with aplomb. No, he didn't jump, he sashayed. In fact, he's still riding that pride wave high. Today was his first day of 3rd grade. I have been nervous about it all summer. Last week, the county was awesome enough to go into his school and give an LGBT training to the teachers. It got some pretty good reception so I was a bit hopeful that this year would be different from the train wreck of last year. New school (because the school is split at 2nd grade, not because we changed schools), new teachers, new principal. But the same kids. The same students who have known TK since kindergarten...the kids who know he is a boy.
TK waltzed onto that campus this morning in his leopard print leggings, glittery top, and pigtails streaming. Four pigtails, actually. Can't pass up an opportunity to be different. He walked right into his classroom, hung up his Hello Kitty backpack and lunchbox, and said hi to all his old classmates. Some of them recognized him, some didn't. Some gave him a long look, others didn't blink an eye. But, none of that mattered because he was on top of the world and this is going to be his year.
As I went to leave, TK told me he wanted female pronouns. I don't know if he meant at school or everywhere and I haven't had the chance to bring it up but, he did tell me that everyone called him "she" at school. However, that's not the most exciting thing. To me, the best part of the day was when my 6th grader said he saw TK coming out of the bathroom. He used the bathroom! At school! He hasn't done this in a very long time. Yay for the pride stage! If it means my son is happy and comfortable in who he is, I'm happy to let the flamboyant dress-up and outlandish hair-do's last as long as he needs them to.
And although I am looking forward to the synthesis stage, I kind of want to hang onto my baby's male pronouns for a bit in the meantime. I've read about how parents of trans children feel like they've lost a son or daughter and I never understood, until now. Hearing other people call TK "she" regularly now, a part of me dies inside every time I hear it. He is my baby. He's my last child. He's my little boy. Only...I'm not sure he is my little boy, or ever really has been. He may actually be that daughter I've always wanted.
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| TK (left) & his cousin |
TK jumped into the pride stage with aplomb. No, he didn't jump, he sashayed. In fact, he's still riding that pride wave high. Today was his first day of 3rd grade. I have been nervous about it all summer. Last week, the county was awesome enough to go into his school and give an LGBT training to the teachers. It got some pretty good reception so I was a bit hopeful that this year would be different from the train wreck of last year. New school (because the school is split at 2nd grade, not because we changed schools), new teachers, new principal. But the same kids. The same students who have known TK since kindergarten...the kids who know he is a boy.
TK waltzed onto that campus this morning in his leopard print leggings, glittery top, and pigtails streaming. Four pigtails, actually. Can't pass up an opportunity to be different. He walked right into his classroom, hung up his Hello Kitty backpack and lunchbox, and said hi to all his old classmates. Some of them recognized him, some didn't. Some gave him a long look, others didn't blink an eye. But, none of that mattered because he was on top of the world and this is going to be his year.
As I went to leave, TK told me he wanted female pronouns. I don't know if he meant at school or everywhere and I haven't had the chance to bring it up but, he did tell me that everyone called him "she" at school. However, that's not the most exciting thing. To me, the best part of the day was when my 6th grader said he saw TK coming out of the bathroom. He used the bathroom! At school! He hasn't done this in a very long time. Yay for the pride stage! If it means my son is happy and comfortable in who he is, I'm happy to let the flamboyant dress-up and outlandish hair-do's last as long as he needs them to.
And although I am looking forward to the synthesis stage, I kind of want to hang onto my baby's male pronouns for a bit in the meantime. I've read about how parents of trans children feel like they've lost a son or daughter and I never understood, until now. Hearing other people call TK "she" regularly now, a part of me dies inside every time I hear it. He is my baby. He's my last child. He's my little boy. Only...I'm not sure he is my little boy, or ever really has been. He may actually be that daughter I've always wanted.
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